So another anniversary has come and gone. I am a year older and hopefully wiser.
Birthdays to me are a time of reflection. To me the blowing out of candles is not just time to make a wish for the upcoming year but time to extinguish last year. I am an autumnal person by nature and nurture. As the weather cools slightly and the nights shorten I am in my element. It is also an excuse to eat cake and what better time could there be?
I like to contemplate the year just past and reflect on what could have been done differently. Each decision I made led to an action that I can't change. I decided a long time ago never to have regrets for things I have done but rather to be a little peeved that I did not take opportunities that came my way. Regretting is pointless as it eats away at your very core.
This year saw topless modeling for a breast cancer fundraiser- an utterly liberating experience. Get the boys out, I say.
As each year passes I realise how lucky I am to have such a fabulous group of friends and a family who love me for who I am. These are people in my life who will calm me down, chivvy me along, make me laugh, bake me cakes, musically inspire and be there. They listen to tales of my younger daughter as she goes feral and how nothing short of tranquilizers will calm her and provide the appropriate emotional response after they have laughed.
I am happy these people are in my life.
I have eaten too much cake and had a lovely evening with a close friend who supports me in so many amazing ways.
It is time to sleep and begin the next year with optimism and travel plans.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Monday, October 18, 2010
About Bloody Time
OK so I had all these great resolutions, as devoted readers will remember, to write more and get the word out and utter other cliches. Did I do it? No. I did bugger all and decided against writing anything.
Here is the list of excuses to see if any of them are viable or if I was trying to convince myself that doing nothing was the best cause of action.
1. I was not in a good emotional space.
That means I have been less than cheerful of late and figured that whining, moaning and general grumbling would not be appreciated so didn't bother. My whole experience and subsequent enjoyment of motherhood was being hampered by my children and who would want to read that? I was not feeling fluffy so ate chocolate.
2. There was no time
This has elements of 1. At the end of the day I did not want to have to do 1 more thing having been a referee, chauffeur, cook, screaming fishwife and brain-dead female. Blonde jokes abound. The logic was should I actually write then it would be dull and self-absorbed (no change there) so why bother? I ate more chocolate.
3. Sod it- I can't be arsed!
Harsh but fair. A succinct summation of the situation.
4. Do I have any decent subject matter?
I know that the blog culture encourages a lot of self to be exposed and ideas explored but I was a brain-dead female of the dirty blonde persuasion remember. What on earth could I write about that would grab the reader and make them feel that I had touched on an issue with which they could identify? Could I make them smile? I did not want to write purely for myself as that smacks of linguistic masturbation!
5. I'll get around to it.
I never did.
Wow thanks for letting my self- pity pour onto the page, I feel cleansed.
So why now? Purely and simply because I have an arrangement with a friend. We will read each other's offerings as a way to encourage the other to write and express. He has an evil diet to follow and I lack the willpower to join him but I am prepared to be a cheering section.
He is a fantastic guy who has a successful career in sales, cares deeply about so many issues, constantly sets himself challenges and goals that he achieves and believes that everything is possible. He threw the gauntlet, I shall hurl it back.
Here is the list of excuses to see if any of them are viable or if I was trying to convince myself that doing nothing was the best cause of action.
1. I was not in a good emotional space.
That means I have been less than cheerful of late and figured that whining, moaning and general grumbling would not be appreciated so didn't bother. My whole experience and subsequent enjoyment of motherhood was being hampered by my children and who would want to read that? I was not feeling fluffy so ate chocolate.
2. There was no time
This has elements of 1. At the end of the day I did not want to have to do 1 more thing having been a referee, chauffeur, cook, screaming fishwife and brain-dead female. Blonde jokes abound. The logic was should I actually write then it would be dull and self-absorbed (no change there) so why bother? I ate more chocolate.
3. Sod it- I can't be arsed!
Harsh but fair. A succinct summation of the situation.
4. Do I have any decent subject matter?
I know that the blog culture encourages a lot of self to be exposed and ideas explored but I was a brain-dead female of the dirty blonde persuasion remember. What on earth could I write about that would grab the reader and make them feel that I had touched on an issue with which they could identify? Could I make them smile? I did not want to write purely for myself as that smacks of linguistic masturbation!
5. I'll get around to it.
I never did.
Wow thanks for letting my self- pity pour onto the page, I feel cleansed.
So why now? Purely and simply because I have an arrangement with a friend. We will read each other's offerings as a way to encourage the other to write and express. He has an evil diet to follow and I lack the willpower to join him but I am prepared to be a cheering section.
He is a fantastic guy who has a successful career in sales, cares deeply about so many issues, constantly sets himself challenges and goals that he achieves and believes that everything is possible. He threw the gauntlet, I shall hurl it back.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Late one night
OK, so it's been a while but that's how it is. The husband is away on business in Vegarse, as I like to think of it, and so why not jot a thing or 2 down?
My parents are in town- that does not explain the months of silence though- and I had a simply lovely evening watching a feel-good film- 'Julie and Julia'. (Synopsis- modern girl sets herself the challenge of cooking all 524 of Julia Child's recipes from Mastering the Art of French Cooking in a year).
My mother and I rustled chocolate wrappers, ooed and aahed at the appropriate times and just sighed when the film ended, completely wrapped up in the sentiment. We loved the comparisons of our lead characters' lives,the scenery, the food and the cat. Life was rather simplistic in so many ways but 'tis the movie business after all.
It made me think that following dreams is a wonderful thing and a few hair-brained schemes make the world a better place. I have several hair-brained schemes (HBS) each day and today's was something to do with organdy ribbon. Who doesn't really want to follow their dreams? I think it takes courage to do so, especially when it is neither practical nor lucrative.
Life is each day at a time with plenty of time to smell the roses. I realized this when I was making summer plans and wondered whether I should pencil in 'have fun' as it seemed to be lacking that element. That was not a serious suggestion, btw. This has nothing to do with fulfilling dreams but everything to do with filling the summer vacation to avoid going mad.
It is time for sleep. During the hours of slumber I shall conjure up yet more ridiculous ideas, have nocturnal liaisons of the most intense and passionate kind with all manner of men (once again I am asleep) and be glad that I can live such a strange life.
Dream well.
My parents are in town- that does not explain the months of silence though- and I had a simply lovely evening watching a feel-good film- 'Julie and Julia'. (Synopsis- modern girl sets herself the challenge of cooking all 524 of Julia Child's recipes from Mastering the Art of French Cooking in a year).
My mother and I rustled chocolate wrappers, ooed and aahed at the appropriate times and just sighed when the film ended, completely wrapped up in the sentiment. We loved the comparisons of our lead characters' lives,the scenery, the food and the cat. Life was rather simplistic in so many ways but 'tis the movie business after all.
It made me think that following dreams is a wonderful thing and a few hair-brained schemes make the world a better place. I have several hair-brained schemes (HBS) each day and today's was something to do with organdy ribbon. Who doesn't really want to follow their dreams? I think it takes courage to do so, especially when it is neither practical nor lucrative.
Life is each day at a time with plenty of time to smell the roses. I realized this when I was making summer plans and wondered whether I should pencil in 'have fun' as it seemed to be lacking that element. That was not a serious suggestion, btw. This has nothing to do with fulfilling dreams but everything to do with filling the summer vacation to avoid going mad.
It is time for sleep. During the hours of slumber I shall conjure up yet more ridiculous ideas, have nocturnal liaisons of the most intense and passionate kind with all manner of men (once again I am asleep) and be glad that I can live such a strange life.
Dream well.
Saturday, September 19, 2009
tired
I am not quite sure I remember the last time I bounded out of bed ready to face the challenges of a new day.
Now it is more of a (expletive of choice to be supplied) moment as I realise that I need to dash out of bed and do all the things that need to done before the girls surface and the battles of the new day begin.
As an aside my girls like to start the day fighting and bickering.
What happened to those mornings of feeling invincible and alive and not needing to be caffeinated? Am I remembering incorrectly? I just wonder if I was having someone else's memory and being nostalgic for something I have not experienced. I am reading some mind-expanding stuff and am married to a Sci-Fi addict so these thought appear at intervals.
Did age make me its slave? Are the lines and wrinkles the character and reward for living the way I do? Not that exciting but busy, should you be interested. Was I ever that energised?
I could take a more holistic approach to being tired and change my diet, exercise more (it is shamefully lacking at present due to (excuse of choice)), drink less caffeine and read less at night. Where is the fun in that, I ask?
Being tired is a state of mind. I mind being tired so I am off to make a cup of tea to wake up then read my book.
Now it is more of a (expletive of choice to be supplied) moment as I realise that I need to dash out of bed and do all the things that need to done before the girls surface and the battles of the new day begin.
As an aside my girls like to start the day fighting and bickering.
What happened to those mornings of feeling invincible and alive and not needing to be caffeinated? Am I remembering incorrectly? I just wonder if I was having someone else's memory and being nostalgic for something I have not experienced. I am reading some mind-expanding stuff and am married to a Sci-Fi addict so these thought appear at intervals.
Did age make me its slave? Are the lines and wrinkles the character and reward for living the way I do? Not that exciting but busy, should you be interested. Was I ever that energised?
I could take a more holistic approach to being tired and change my diet, exercise more (it is shamefully lacking at present due to (excuse of choice)), drink less caffeine and read less at night. Where is the fun in that, I ask?
Being tired is a state of mind. I mind being tired so I am off to make a cup of tea to wake up then read my book.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
cough cough splutter
.. always good when you are about to board a plane and head to a wedding. If I don't get quarantined or at least sat on by a burly member of security.
It is a chesty cough that makes my laugh sound like Mutley.
I have to play at said wedding so hope not to hurl. It is a short piece and is gorgeous so hope I do it justice. Lyrics were a bit dodgy in places but I shan't elaborate.
Have a fab dress, a daughter who is flower-girl and a new book for the plane- cool.
Speak when I get back. Don't miss me too much.....;)
It is a chesty cough that makes my laugh sound like Mutley.
I have to play at said wedding so hope not to hurl. It is a short piece and is gorgeous so hope I do it justice. Lyrics were a bit dodgy in places but I shan't elaborate.
Have a fab dress, a daughter who is flower-girl and a new book for the plane- cool.
Speak when I get back. Don't miss me too much.....;)
Friday, September 4, 2009
Musical ADD addendum
I have been thinking long and hard about my iPod reference and have come up with a product that would solve all my musical woes and improve my attention span.
I call it the iPod Touchy- it can feel the vibrations through my hands and knows what mood I am in and can make a musical judgment based on its reading.
If I am feeling pre-menstrual then it will mix Metallica, ambient noises and sappy lyrics with more Metallica or Pendulum and hand over the chocolate.
Happy and bouncy- dance music.
Maudlin- it will decide as I am not short of less than cheery music. Placebo always makes me feel better.
Just a thought.
I call it the iPod Touchy- it can feel the vibrations through my hands and knows what mood I am in and can make a musical judgment based on its reading.
If I am feeling pre-menstrual then it will mix Metallica, ambient noises and sappy lyrics with more Metallica or Pendulum and hand over the chocolate.
Happy and bouncy- dance music.
Maudlin- it will decide as I am not short of less than cheery music. Placebo always makes me feel better.
Just a thought.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Musical ADD
I think I am suffering from musical ADD and I am blaming the iPod.
Gone are the days when I listened to a whole album. Now I am lucky if I hear an entire track; the skip button gets used far too often.
My attention span is shot and tracks I used to like are lucky if they get past 2 minutes. I notice this most when I am in the car and the iPod setting is random but each track that comes up seems to be not what I am looking for (cue U2).
I am not sure if I am the only one who seems incapable of concentrating. We are so used to immediate gratification that we seek it at every opportunity.
I also made a few compilation CDs for a friend who wanted her music tastes to be brought into the 21st century. Was I able to listen to the fruit of my labours? No. I skipped through most of the tracks again.
What to do? Maybe I just need to sit down and make a concerted effort to listen to a whole CD. I could add a reward, such as chocolate.
Maybe I just need some new music that makes my pulse race and doesn't want me to skip tracks at the first opportunity.
Gone are the days when I listened to a whole album. Now I am lucky if I hear an entire track; the skip button gets used far too often.
My attention span is shot and tracks I used to like are lucky if they get past 2 minutes. I notice this most when I am in the car and the iPod setting is random but each track that comes up seems to be not what I am looking for (cue U2).
I am not sure if I am the only one who seems incapable of concentrating. We are so used to immediate gratification that we seek it at every opportunity.
I also made a few compilation CDs for a friend who wanted her music tastes to be brought into the 21st century. Was I able to listen to the fruit of my labours? No. I skipped through most of the tracks again.
What to do? Maybe I just need to sit down and make a concerted effort to listen to a whole CD. I could add a reward, such as chocolate.
Maybe I just need some new music that makes my pulse race and doesn't want me to skip tracks at the first opportunity.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)