Loss

I had a great email from an old and dear friend of mine. I love getting his emails as they are so funny and adventurous. He is a helicopter instructor in the Navy so his life is slightly different from mine and I love the way he spins a yarn. We've been friends for almost 20 years and I am god-mother to his daughter, a delightful little thing.

As I read with amusement about his most recent trip overseas his email took a sharp and unexpected turn.

He informed me that they were mourning the loss of their second daughter. I was unaware that his wife was pregnant but to hear news of this nature shook and still does and I am not the emotional type.

The little lady was born 13 weeks premature with complications and lived for an hour; 60 minutes of life. All the hopes of being a sibling, a laughing little bundle of mischief and the possibility of being a responsible adult who could change the world were shattered and with it I expect the lives of the parents. How do you put on a brave face for your other daughter when inside you feel like you have been ripped apart?

I don't know what to say to my friend and his wife and that is all I can say. I just wish I could do something. I am a mother myself so this kind of loss is unfathomable. I don't know the pain they are suffering or how they can pick themselves up and face life knowing that they are missing one family member.

Is life fair? No. Do we realise what we have? No. Do we ever really love like it is our last day? No.

My heart goes out to them and to everyone who has lost someone.