My last posting had been about making a profit from a blog when the one before had been about the loss of a child. It almost felt as if I were trivialising such a tragic event but nothing can be further from the truth.
I have spent so much time thinking about the loss of this child and have had to just get on with things as I do not want my own girls to know what I am thinking. I believe I should shield them from the harsher sides of life.
This made me think of how the parents, my friends, are dealing. Do they just put on a brave face when they don't feel like going on? Are they shielding their daughter, naturally, and finding explanations of a sibling's absence unbelievably painful?
How are they coping with reactions from others? Have they been supported or have they wanted to punch someone who suggested that heaven had a new angel? I know I would have violent thoughts at a well-intentioned yet badly placed remark.
What hit me hardest was the milestones that had been anticipated: first smile, first Christmas, first steps, etc. but would never materialise. This year is going to be so tough as there is so much that should have happened but won't, constant reminders of what should have been. Christmas will be very strange this year for the family and I just don't know how they get through the days.
I am at a loss myself to begin to comprehend their pain.
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I've attended too many funerals for children, something that tends to happen when you're around a lot of kids with disabilities and illnesses. And I still don't know what to say or do to make anything better. Just be there. Send them love. Let them know you can listen if they need to talk but don't push. Let them know you are someone they don't have to smile around.
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